


Mein Herz Brennt!

by CallingSoManyCrows



Category: Rammstein
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Additional Warnings Apply, CrowsCavern Works, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Physical Abuse, Protectiveness, Reader-Insert, Sad with a Happy Ending, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-06 23:58:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19196785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallingSoManyCrows/pseuds/CallingSoManyCrows
Summary: You’re in a dark place, you always have been. So you never thought you would see the day that someone, anyone, would pull you out of the hell you’re living in. He was only an acquaintance at first, but eventually became someone whom you never thought you needed so badly in your life.DISCLAIMER: Mentions Of Abuse And Mental Illness Are Relevant In This Story. May Be Triggering For Some Readers. Viewer Discretion Is Advised.





	Mein Herz Brennt!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, I apologize for my German. I am still learning, if you speak German, please feel free to message me with a correction. Thank you.
> 
> I also take request, message me over at Tumblr or here.
> 
> My Tumblr: crowscavern

**January 2004:**

You blinked, once, twice, three times. But it just wasn’t enough to keep your dull eyes from watering. The cold air of Berlin, Germany surrounded you as you trotted down the many sidewalks. The rough winds, swishing and swaying, were accompanied by the blaring, boisterous sounds of people chattering and cars flying down the old, pavement roads. Despite this, having to deal with it just about every afternoon, you were used to it. 

At least it let you knew you were still alive, right?

Well, that’s besides the point. You took a deep sigh as you adjusted your black scarf and black, fingerless gloves. The studio was near, not far off in the distance. Today would be an exciting day, you thought. Zoran Bihać, a director and good friend of yours, has messaged you the other day, asking for your assistance. 

You smiled a little to yourself, something you hardly did, while replaying the scenario in your head. Zoran wanted YOUR help for a music video, a video being filmed for a German metal band. Rammstein, you think is was? You weren’t all too familiar with them, you only knew them through Zoran, who was good friends with the lead of the band. You had some skills in the whole directing and filming process, you even knew how to do some makeup! No wonder Zoran was interested in your help. 

You were so caught up in your thoughts that you haven’t even realized you were right at the steps of the studio. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, it’s been a while since you’ve last been this happy. Either way, you proceeded up the stairs, your heeled combat boats clinking against the pavement. You got more nervous every step, up until you reached the door. You hesitated a bit, but you did reach forward for the handle. 

The warm air of the building instantly overcame you, it felt wonderful up against your cold, numb skin. You took in breathes of warm air before you continued on your way to the studio room. You heard creaking as the door shut, the sound of your boats hitting the floor echoed throughout the building. You adjusted your black trench coat while looking at the many doors leading to the many rooms. 

It was awfully quiet today, you would hear faint sounds of doors being shut or voices throughout, but you were busy listening for Zoran’s voice.

”What was is?... Room 104? Or was it 204?...” you questioned, whispering to yourself.

”Room 204!” a voice yelled out from behind you.

You instantly jumped, not expecting someone, anyone, to hear your whispering. You turned around, still a little shaken up. You looked around, only to see Zoran a couple feet in front of you.

He smirked, a devious smirk, “I am sorry my dear (Y/N), I did not mean to scare you,” Zoran chuckled, walking up to you.

”O-Oh, Hey Zoran,” you stuttered, straightening your posture. 

Zoran stops a foot away from you, holding out his hand. You got the message and reached out to shake his hand. 

“How have you been, love?” Zoran asked you, with a soft smile on his face. 

You looked at him, with saddened eyes, but you tried your best to hide it.

”I have been.... fine,” you responded, even though you knew it was a lie.

Luckily you managed to mask it well. 

Zoran turned around, facing the way he came from, “Good, good, you can follow me. We have been waiting for you.”

You nodded, following right behind Zoran. Zoran spoke good English, for someone who barley speaks the language in the first place. 

Your guy’s footsteps echoed throughout the hall. As you move in closer to the studio room, you could hear more chattering. It was in German, so you assumed it was the band. 

When you both arrived at the room, the chattering was loud. Laughing could be heard with muffled sounds of footsteps. 

Zoran turned his head to you as he stopped at the large, wooden door, “Do not worry, they are nice. I will do some translation for you, if you need it, alright?” Zoran assured you, as he rested his hand on the door knob. 

You looked over at Zoran, “I believe they are, thank you, Zoran.”

Zoran nodded and opened the door. You were instantly hit with the many voices of multiple men. The room was large, with a big wooden table in the middle. The windows were big, the floor was metallic and stable, like a hospital floor. The windows were not very big, but they let enough light in. 

You looked around, nervously. You instantly caught the attention of the men, six of them. They all looked very different form each other, but appeared to get along well.

” _Männer, Männer,_   _Ruhe jetzt_ _! Ich muss jemanden vorstellen!_ ” Zoran called out, with his perfect German.

The chattering stopped, and soon, all eyes were on you. Cold stares all on you, you felt uncomfortable all of sudden. Luckily, Zoran was there to break it.

” _Männer, diese schöne Dame heißt (Y/N)_ ,” Zoran proceded to introduce you, “ _Sie wird uns beim Filmprozess helfen._ ”

The room suddenly became light. The men softened up and chattering began to fill the room once more. They moved towards you and Zoran, greeting you two. 

You were then approached by a man with spiky, black hair and a neat, black shirt, “ _Hallo, ich heiße Richard, Richard Kruspe_ ,” he introduced himself, taking his hand in yours and letting a small smile slip.

You noticed Zoran walked off and joking another man. The others turned away and began the chatter amongst themselves. You felt taken back for a moment, forgetting your German.

“My- I mean, _mein Name ist_ (Y/N),” you quickly introduced yourself, letting a nervous smile creep upon your face. 

He let go of your hand and stepped back, “You speak English?”

”Uh, y-yes, I do,” you nervously laughed afterwards, “You speak English as well?” you questioned the man, or Richard, you now know him as. 

”Yes, I know some English,” he responded, warm and welcoming.

He stopped for a moment, must of been realizing something, “Oh, let me show you to the rest of the band,” his accent was strong, though his English could still easily be heard, he must be familiar with the language. 

You nodded, “Take it away, _herr_.”

 “The tallest one, with little hair, is Oliver,” he pointed to the tall, practically bald man. 

You nodded, letting him know you were listening.

He continued, “The other tall one, with glasses, his name is Christian, or Flake. The man with the curls is Christoph, or Doom. Uh, that one, the short one is Paul. The last one, with the... floppy hair is Till. He’s our lead,” Richard finished, taking breaks in between his introductions to gather his learned English. 

You looked around, Zoran was busy having a very in depth conversation with the man named Till.

You looked back up at Richard, “ _Danke_ , very much Richard,” you nodded and planted a small, forced smile on your face. 

He was very welcoming, much more than you expected, it was new.

Richard turned back to you and began, “If you would like, you can join me with Till and Zoran,” he offered.

”I... would love too,” you responded.

”Great, follow me,” he motioned you for to go first, making your way towards Till and Zoran.

You walked over to Till and Zoran, moving to the side to make way for Richard. The two finished up their conversation and Zoran tunes to you.

”Ah, Till, _das ist_ (Y/N) _. Ich glaube, Sie kennen bereits ihren Namen_ ,” Zoran introduced you to Till.

You took a few glances at Till, a big, brawny man he was. He looked as if he was judging you, with dark, emerald green eyes. He was taller than you too. You have to admit, you felt intimidated.

There was silence for a good few seconds, before Zoran spoke up, “ _Sag hallo, Till!Sei nicht schüchtern_!”

Till turned to look at Zoran before turning back to you, “ _Hallo_ ,” he greeted you, extending his arm.

You shook his hand cautiously before turning back to Richard and moving closer to him. Till seemed to noticed this, but did not seem bothered, besides a single glare. He proceeded to move back to Zoran, finishing up their conversation. Richard let out a slight chuckle.

”Do not worry, he will not hurt you. He is just shy,” Richard assured you, putting a hand on your upper back. 

You turned to Richard and smiled at him, “I guess, I hope I didn’t come off as rude by any chance,” you slightly panicked. 

“It is all good, I am sure he understands,” Richard smiled at you and turned to Till and Zoran.

You didn’t bother to stick around, why not meet the other guys? You took a deep breath and turned your head towards two other men. Paul and Christoph, you think they’re names are. They seemed to noticed you when you turned your head, catching their interest.

You felt panicky, you weren’t used to this many people in one room. But, they started to make their way over.

The ‘Short one’ stopped in front of you, ” _Hallo, ich bin_ Paul,” Paul greeted you.

The other one stopped besides Paul, “Christoph,” he greeted.

”Uh, _Hallo, ich bin_ (Y/N),” you proceeded to let a fake smile crawl up on your face.

Paul smiled, a cute one you must admit.

” _Also bist du hier, um bei der Regie zu helfen_?” Paul questioned, Christoph nodding. 

“ _J-Ja. Ich bin hier um zu helfen_ ,” you spoke timidly. 

“ _Gut gut. Wir heissen dich willkommen_!” Paul seemed excited to have you here to help.

Christoph smiled and nodded. Soon, you three were joined by two other men. Both **extremely** tall. You had to look up at them. Flake and Oliver. 

They looked far less intimidating than Till, but they were eerily quiet. 

“ _Das ist Flake und der andere ist Oliver_ ,” Paul introduced them.

They all of a sudden seemed to light up, greeting you with small smiles. They asked you questions, did some small talk, and so on. But, this would soon be interrupted by the sounds of Zoran’s voice. 

Zoran ushered everyone to the table, each of them securing a seat. Zoran looked over at you and signaled for you to come over. You got the hint and ended up standing at the head of the table with Zoran besides you. 

“ _Lassen Sie uns ein paar Ideen festhalten_ ,” Zoran suggested.

They all nodded as Zoran reached for his notebook in the middle of the table. He flipped through the pages, looking for a clean page. He grabbed a pencil from his pocket. 

He looked at you and then forwarded the material to you, “Here, write the ideas down. I’ll be busy most likely trying to compromise with then.”

You grabbed the pencil and notepad, moving your hair out of your face and looking up at your audience.

“ _Gut?_ ” Zoran raised a brow. 

Eventually, Richard spoke up, explaining to Zoran and idea he had, all in German. One of the other boys, Christoph seemed to disagree with Richard though...

It all went in for around two hours, they argued and disagreed, supported and agreed. You got down many ideas, while Zoran continued to talk to the group of men. You stuck your tongue out as you finished up. 

Zoran sighed as the men still argued, Till with his arms crossed and seemingly over everyone else’s rambling. Richard and Christoph still fighting over some stupid idea. Paul and Oliver seemed to busy voicing out their own ideas. Flake meanwhile, well, he kind of just sat there and waited for everyone else to finish. 

“Zoran, I don’t think I have anymore room...” you looked straight at Zoran.

He turned to you and shifted his position to look over all of your writing. He nodded in approval and turned to face you.

”That is enough for one day, my dear (Y/N). They are just discussing none sense at this point...” Zoran shook his head in disappointment. 

You nodded at Zoran’s statement and handed him the notebook and pencil. He took it out of your hands and closed the notebook, setting it down in the table and placing the pencil on top. You slowly looked over the six of them, they really were something when all together.

Either way, another hour passed. Zoran tried to be reasonable, suggesting some of his own ideas. But they all kept bickering, while you stood at the head of the table, dying of boredom. By this point, it was almost 7:00 in the afternoon, having arrived there at 4:00 earlier. You reached into your pocket, grabbing your phone. You turned it on, only to be greeted by a message, one that lead dread all through out your body.

’When will you be home?’ the message read.

It was from your boyfriend, if you could even call him that. You tensed up and unlocked your phone, trying to respond quickly.

’In an hour at the most,’ you responded.

’Good,’ was his only response. 

You turned your phone off, slipping it back in your pocket. You hated going to the place you called him, but you felt as if there was nothing you could do about it. Hell, you still had you coat and everything on, with the exception of you gloves. You took them off earlier since they were getting in the way of your writing. 

You turned towards Zoran, waiting for him to finish. But he seemed far to busy bickering with them.

You spoke out, timidly, “Uh, hey Zoran, I should head home...”

Zoran stopped what he was doing, he shook his head and rolled his eyes. He then turned to you, “Alright, have a safe walk home! Be careful and watch out for werewolves too...”

You let out a small smile, “Don’t worry, I will.”

You adjusted your scarf and slipped in your gloves. You looked forward and begun to make your way around the table. Richard seemed to notice and stopped fighting with Christoph. He turned your way and winked. Christoph didn’t bother, neither did the others. Except for Paul, who waved at you and smiled.

You smiled softly at Richard and Paul, watching Richard as he turned back to Christoph, slamming his fist on the table and continuing the German bickering. Paul going back to listening in on their fight. You walked up to the door and gripped the knob, turning it slowly. You pushed the door opened and stepped out.

You shut it behind you and begun on the treacherous walk home. It was already becoming dark. Berlin was an overall safe place, though you still had to become cautious as night. It could become  dangerous for a young woman. 

You navigated yourself throughout the building, eventually finding the entrance. You walked over and grabbed the handle,  pulling the door open. The cold air instantly hit you, it was much colder at night, and windy too. You shivered and stepped out. 

You decided to check your phone one more time. You slipped your hand into your pocket and looked at your phone, 7:20 it read. If you didn’t hurry up you would end up late, and your boyfriend would not be happy. You shivered and stepped down the stairs and onto the side walk. You looked around and begun to make your way back his and your apartment. 

You just couldn’t wait for work tomorrow, what could it hold? Besides, you couldn’t be at home with that... monster...


End file.
